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A beautiful Sunday morning took us down the road to the Glenville Queen today. Technically, it’s not a diner, but there were some time constraints we were worried about today, so we’re counting it. As you can see from the photo, it looks like a diner but is considered a Family Restaurant. As you can also see from the photo, I’m terrible at the panoramic photo taking, since there’s a car that looks like it got stuck in a time warp on the right.



We thought the wait would be long when we walked in, but it turns out the party in front of us was nine people deep, so our table for two was seated immediately. The booths themselves would have been much more comfortable, if it weren’t for the awkwardly-placed iron bars beneath the tables. The bars were meant to prop them up but if you have legs longer than a child’s, you’re going to have a bad time. I somehow managed not to bang my knee on it the entire time I was there, which is a personal achievement because I managed to wreck my knees on everything else. We noted that the decor at Glenville Queen (hereafter referred to as GQ) seemed to be taken from an episode of “The Golden Girls“… I call it Bea Arthur chic. Lots of pastels and flowery patterns, with a dusty rose color that popped up throughout the place in the booth seats, tables, walls and curtains. The ceiling had faux wood beams that looked like a cheap material had been used to cover some aesthetically displeasing steel beams.



So we perused the breakfast menu as George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” played softly in the background (ohhh, that sexy sax). GQ’s breakfast selections were nothing fancy or out of the ordinary. You have the typical breakfast sandwiches, pancakes, waffles, omelettes and sides. What you don’t have at GQ are specialty coffees or espresso, so you’re stuck with plain ol’ coffee. Which, when you’re overtired, is totally fine, but not if you have a hankerin’ for some caramel latte action. We ordered coffee and water while we came to a decision on what to have for breakfast.

IMG_3458The coffees were good, with a light mouth feel, bold taste, and no burnt flavor. We’re rating the coffee a 4 out of 5. Imagine if they had lattes? Good lord. Our water, on the other hand, was a low 3 out of 5. There were some extra mineral-type flavors going on, and not in the “I feel healthier after drinking this” kind of way, but the “I hope that machine was cleaned recently” kind of way. Even the lemon in my water could not save it from the odd taste.

After asking our waitress the hard-hitting questions (“What kind of fruit is in the fruit cup?” “Do you have cappuccino?” “Does this tshirt make me look schlubby?”), we ordered our breakfasts. I chose the Belgian waffle with strawberries, banana and whipped cream with a side of bacon; Matt ordered the “He-Man Breakfast,” which was French Toast, bacon, sausage, ham and “country fresh eggs” anyway you like them. He substituted more sausage for the ham, because ham sucks unless it’s a holiday. While we waited, we looked around and noted that many of the patrons were in their Sunday best and were probably regulars. My Sunday best is a tshirt and jeans with slip-on Merrells, because tying shoes is exclusively a weekday-only activity in my world. There were quite a few young families with polite children sitting at tables around us, and some older couples scattered around as well. The wait staff were hustling and working their butts off to keep their patrons happy, and everyone seemed to be enjoying their food.


Once our food came out, we snapped a few photos and made some quick judgments. It looked like it would taste average.








Being pretty hungry (we showed up that way, we didn’t have to wait long for the food), we dug in and evaluated the taste. My Belgian waffle tasted off, like it had too much salt in the batter, and the strawberries were a sad dark color like they had been in the sugary syrup for far too long. There wasn’t enough whipped cream to make me giddy, and the bananas–the best part of the meal–were too ripe. I thought the bacon might be good, but it was a little rubbery and far too salty to enjoy, so I skipped that part. Matt’s “country fresh eggs” tasted like they might have never been eggs at any part of their journey. They were tasteless; even salt and pepper couldn’t save them. The French Toast was a little dry, not super flavorful and came with whipped butter and “breakfast syrup” on the side. The sausage links were decent.


A line on the placemat says “why cook at home?” I can think of a few really good reasons.



20150329_110203Although our breakfasts were a little disappointing, we saw that the desserts are baked on premises by their own baker, and the dessert case looked promising, so Matt decided to give one a try. It was a toss-up between Oreo cheesecake and the coconut cream pie, but he went with the cheesecake after our waitress made that recommendation. The description on the menu sounded fabulous: “We start with our fresh creamy smooth Cheesecake, then gently fold in Oreo Cookies and top it all with Chocolate Fudge Sauce.” And here’s what it looks like:20150329_105310


It looks amazing, you guys. But it wasn’t all that great. Matt’s review of the Oreo cheesecake was, “If I was this cheesecake’s father, I would tell it how disappointed in it I am… And then I would be swiftly arrested for eating my child.”


So we rated the food, overall, a low 3. The service, however, was great, and we’re rating it a 5. Our waitress was fast, polite and helpful with answering our mundane questions.


Side note, the children’s menu is terrifying. Why does that girl have teeth on the side of her mouth?

There are a lot of great places to go in Upstate New York if you’re looking for a great diner or family restaurant, but we wouldn’t recommend Glenville Queen as one of them. It’s a bit unfair to rate the dinerness, since it’s not actually a diner, but if we had to rate it, it would be a 1. There isn’t much in the way of chrome or mirrors, and there aren’t any checkerboard patterns anywhere, but there is definitely a vintage feel to the place and a few of the wait staff look like they’ve been there for years.

Have you been to the Queen? What did you think? Share your thoughts by commenting on the post below, or follow us on Facebook. Where should we go next?